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Q. I am a managing director of a company in a very demanding role I am really stressed with my private life which causes me to be complacent in the work place.   My home life is a disaster.  My wife drinks every night as soon as I see the wine coming through the door I know it is going to be a really argumentative if not violent miserable night, this causes all sorts of problems.  I have tried to get various alternative help for her from private consultation to AA.  I am at my wits end as to what to do next. Can you help?

A. Hard as this may sound you have to look at your reaction to what is happening both at work and at home! Why the arguments happen? What part do you play in the arguments, why you let it affect your job, what your thinking is, when the wine comes through the door?  There is always two sides to a story and there is always the Truth.  Your wife is a reflection of your inner thought system.  If you look at making changes in your own life you will start to see the changes happening in every area.  Leading by example is the best way to get the most powerful results.

“Be the change you want to see” Mahatma Ghandi