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Q: My question is that recently the council have said we are infringing on our neighbours boundary, when in fact both neighbours are infringing on ours! This is something we have known since we bought the house, but have chosen not to change things. What do I need to do about my personal boundaries, as I have been clearly given an indication something needs to change?

A: Any conflict is always a place of opportunity, a new place for healing. A healthy personal boundary is a space around yourself that gives you a clear sense of who you are and where you’re going.

When you choose who you allow into your physical, emotional and mental space, you’re activating your personal boundaries. Have the facts (if possible, in writing) and then back up for the facts (evidence), then you will have confidence in yourself to move the situation forward; be honest with yourself with your true feelings and opinions.

You have clearly been given an indication that something needs to change as it will surface time and time again until you address the situation. Always go for a win-win and find a solution acceptable to all parties involved. It is not the truth unless everyone wins; settle for nothing less than everyone feeling as if they have won, this brings a new integrity into the situation. Your attitude towards the conflict will begin to show you the natural way through it.